Global Warming - The Real Worst Case Scenario

I am now convinced that this man-made global warming alarmism is real. And here is the worst case scenario.

Climate change may hamper production of the grains and barley required to make alcohol and beer.

Out of New Zealand is a story that says just that. Global warming could cause a shortage of these grains and thus cause prices for beer and vodka to rise. This story was only referring to NZ and Australia but since we are told that this global warming stuff is the worst thing to hit our planet, it must be affecting grain production every where.

This would be catastrophic, to say the least. While I like beer, it is not my drink of choice. But this warming adversely affects malted barley production it would stand to reason that all grain production would be affected.

As you can tell, martinis are my drink of choice (followed closely by single malt scotch). And though vodka can be made from almost anything, a lot of distillers make it with grain.

So, the impact on grain production would also drive up prices of vodka. That would be disastrous, as well, for us martini aficionados. And, since scotch is made from malts, those prices will go up, too, as the ability to produce those grains is reduced by the warming caused by our presence here on earth.

Let’s take it to the next logical conclusion… tobacco production will be a casualty of our greenhouse gas production.

Do you know what that would do to my life? Especially on Fridays when we sit around the cul de sac and solve the world’s problems while drinking martinis and smoking cigars?

We have got to take this seriously, folks. This is too important for us to laugh at anymore.

The logic is simple (even if the science is not quite there).Tthe warmer it gets, the more the arctic ice cap melts (for some reason it is growing in the Antarctic region). The more it melts the higher the seas rise and that creates coastal flooding. The less land there is for man to inhabit leads to a higher density of people per square mile (except for those that don’t escape in time). That will encroach on farming land. Combine that with the heat and, vioila!

It’s a vicious cycle! And I have a solution.

Let’s capture all of the melting ice and use the water to make beer and distill vodka and scotch! We would prevent a disastrous sea level rise, and would have cold beer for those unbearably hot, last days on earth before global warming kills us all (according to Al Gore).

I wish that I had come up with that idea of using glacial melt myself. It appears that some folks in Greenland have already thought of this, in part. There’s a story out of Greenland where it is reported that some entrepreneurs have captured the melting ice from global warming and are using it to brew beer.

Outstanding! Even in the face of certain doom, capitalism flourishes!

This is a brilliant way to use that water, which is the key to life!

And, as Noel Coward so brilliantly said, “Water is necessary for life, but the martini is necessary for a life worth living.”

A-6Dude

Midori Martini (hey, it’s Green!)
2 parts vodka
1 part Midori liqueur
Dash of Vermouth (optional)

Shake over ice till VERY cold and strain into chilled martini glass.