I Have Started Another Blog Site Dedicated to All Things Martini

Check out my other site dedicated to nothing political...just martinis.

http://martinioclock.blogspot.com/

A-6Dude

You'll see the recipe there.

HOW WE GOT THE WORD "AVIATOR"

This explains it all.

As an aviator, I come from a long lineage rooted in a secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. I now know that I am a warrior and here is the proof!

A little known fact is the origin of the word, "Aviator." In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: "I didn't know that."

Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Ken, 1169-?) is considered by some tobe the most under-recognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phu Khen.

A 'Khen' was a subordinate to a 'Khan' (pronounced 'konn') in the military structure of the Mongol hordes. Khan is Turkish for leader. Most know of the great Genghis Khan, but little has been written of his chain of command.

Khen is also of Turkish origin. There is not a word in English that adequately conveys the meaning. Roughly translated, it means, "One who will do the impossible, while appearing unprepared and complaining constantly."

Phu Khen was one of ten Khens that headed the divisions, or groups of hordes, as they were known, of the Mongol Army serving under Genghis Khan. His abilities came to light during the Mongols' raids on the Turkistan city of Bohicaroo. Bohicans were fierce warriors and the city was well fortified. The entire city was protected by hugewalls, and the hordes were at a standoff with the Bohicans. Bohicaroo was well stocked and it would be difficult to wait them out.

Genghis Khan assembled his Khens and ordered each of them to develop a plan for penetrating the defenses of Bohicaroo. Operation Achieve Victory (AV) was born. All 10 divisions of Khens submitted their plan. After reviewing AV plans 1 thru 7and finding them all unworkable or ridiculous, Genghis Khan was understandably upset.

It was with much perspiration that Phu Khen submitted his idea,which came to be known as AV 8. Upon seeing AV 8, Genghis Khan was convinced this was the perfect plan and gave his immediate approval.

The plan was beautifully simple. Phu Khen would arm his hordes to the teeth, load them into catapults, and hurl them over the wall. The losses were expected to be high, but hey, hordes were cheap! Those that survived the flight would engage the enemy in combat. And, those that did not? Well, surely their flailing bodies would cause some damage.

The plan worked and the Bohicans were defeated. From that day on, whenever the Mongol Army encountered an insurmountable enemy, Genghis Khan would give the order, "Send some of Phu Khen's AV 8-ers."

This is believed, though not by anyone outside our secret society, to be the true origin of the word Aviator (AV 8-er). Phu Khen's AV 8-ers were understandably an unruly mob, not likely to be socially acceptable. Many were heavy drinkers and insomniacs. But when nothing else would do, you could always count on an AV 8-er. A Phu Khen Aviator.

Denied, perhaps rightfully so, his place in history, Phu Khen has been, nonetheless, immortalized in prose. As the great poet Norman Lear never once said:

"There once was a man named Phu Khen,

Whose breakfast was whiskey and gin.

When e'er he'd fly,

He'd give a mighty war cry:

"Bend over, here it comes again."

It is an honor to be a Phu Khen Aviator. I wear the mantle proudly, but speak of it cautiously. It is not always popular to be one of us. You hear mystical references, often-hushed whispers, to "those Phu Khen Aviators."

I do not let these things bother me. As with any secret society, we go largely misunderstood, prohibited by our apathy from explaining ourselves. We are expected to always live down to the reputation of the Phu Khen Aviator...a reputation cultivated for centuries, undaunted by scorn or ridicule, unhindered by progress.

We drink, we're crude, we sleep late, urinate in public, and we get the job done.

And, when others are offended, I can revel in the knowledge that...

I am a PHU KHEN AVIATOR!

A-6Dude

Jet Fuel Martini

1 part Cinnamon Schnapps

1 part Peppermint Schnapps

Shake over ice until VERY cold. Strain into a chilled martini glass.

The Right Kind of Military Experience – When the Generals Come Calling

Byron York, of the National Review Online, penned a piece on Sunday describing an attack by failed 2004 presidential candidate General Wesley Clark on John McCain. I don’t know Wes Clark but was in the military while he was (that’s kinda like saying I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night, eh?).

There was a recent conference call where some retired military leaders endorsed Hillary Clinton to be the next commander-in-chief. During that call Wes Clark made the following statement saying that McCain did not have the right kind of military experience:

“In the national security business, the question is, do you have — when you have served in uniform, do you really have the relevant experience for making the decisions at the top that have to be made? Everybody admires John McCain's service as a fighter pilot, his courage as a prisoner of war. There's no issue there. He's a great man and an honorable man. But having served as a fighter pilot — and I know my experience as a company commander in Vietnam — that doesn’t prepare you to be commander-in-chief in terms of dealing with the national strategic issues that are involved. It may give you a feeling for what the troops are going through in the process, but it doesn't give you the experience first hand of the national strategic issues.

If you look at what Hillary Clinton has done during her time as the First Lady of the United States, her travel to 80 countries, her representing the U.S. abroad, plus her years in the Senate, I think she's the most experienced and capable person in the race, not only for representing am abroad, but for dealing with the tough issues of national security.”

As I recall, General Clark was fired from his role as the NATO Commander (although in the military it is rarely said that one was fired – they were reassigned). In my career in the military (I just hope it was the right kind of experience to be voicing my opinion here), my observation was always that one has to really screw up to be relieved of a command before the tour was over. That just wasn’t something that was (or is) done lightly. Nonetheless, Wes Clark was fired from NATO.

But worse is why he was relieved a year early. During the 2004 presidential primaries, retired Gen. Hugh Shelton, the former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was asked if he would support retired Gen. Wesley Clark for president. He quickly took a drink of water. "That question makes me wish it were vodka," Shelton said. "I've known Wes for a long time. I will tell you the reason he came out of Europe early had to do with integrity and character issues, things that are very near and dear to my heart. I'm not going to say whether I'm a Republican or a Democrat. I'll just say Wes won't get my vote."

So, here is a guy relieved for “integrity and character” issues. This is not insignificant. And yet he thinks he knows what the right kind of military experience that is needed to be commander-in-chief.

But let’s look at what he said.

“But [McCain] having served as a fighter pilot — and I know my experience as a company commander in Vietnam — that doesn’t prepare you to be commander-in-chief in terms of dealing with the national strategic issues that are involved.”

First of all, Wes, how does being a company commander on the ground in Vietnam make one a better commander-in-chief than being a fighter pilot (I flew in jets in the Navy too)? Just what experience do you receive in a foxhole that others don’t? I might even say that McCain's experience in direct contact with the enemy on a daily basis makes him more qualified than the average grunt. After all, he was seeing them up close and personal.

But I’m curious as to how a foxhole provides you more “experience first hand of national strategic issues” than any other role in the military? The answer is – it doesn’t. So, tell me, Wes, how does being fired from NATO give you that experience?

Let’s look at past commanders-in-chief and see what in their career made them eligible to be our president and commander-in-chief. I won’t go back too far.

Woodrow Wilson, who led us into WWI, had NO military experience. Yet, he led the country into a war. He had been Governor of New Jersey, though.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt (can I use his middle name), who commanded the military during WWII, was the Assistant Secretary of the Navy for Wilson. That doesn’t really count for military experience since at that level you are really a politician trying to take care of the Navy. FDR had no time in uniform as far as I can tell.

Harry Truman was an artillery officer during WWI. So, we have the first US President in the 20th century to have both served in the military and to have led the military in a war. But, Truman wasn’t a company commander. Was his military experience the right kind? And we will never know but my guess is that if he hadn’t been FDR’s VP he would never have been president.

Dwight D. Eisenhower was a brilliant general in WWII. He led men in combat on a large scale. Unless you count the fact that he did start sending advisors to Vietnam he never led the military into a war as commander-in-chief. Did he have the right experience?

John Fitzgerald Kennedy (oops, there's that middle name again) was a PT boat skipper in WWII, not in a foxhole. He was courageous in saving his crew when they were sunk by a Japanese ship. Did that give him the right kind of military experience to lead us into Vietnam?

Lyndon Baines Johnson was Kennedy’s VP when he was assassinated. He, too, had been a naval reserve officer in WWII. Was this the right kind of military experience to keep us in Vietnam?

Richard Milhouse Nixon was also a naval reserve officer in the supply corps during WWII. Was that the right kind of military experience to lead us out of Vietnam?

Gerald Ford was another naval officer that served in WWII. Did he have the right kind of military experience? We’ll never know because he never led us in a war.

Jimmy Carter was also a naval officer and served primarily in the submarine service. Was this the right kind of military service to qualify as commander-in-chief? Let’s look at the Iranian hostage crisis to get that answer.

Ronald Reagan served in a motion picture unit during WWII because he was nearsighted and that excluded him from serving overseas. Was this the right kind of military experience?

George H. W. Bush was a navy pilot in WWII and was also shot down. Fortunately, he was rescued. But being a pilot like McCain, was that the right kind of military experience? Was he qualified to lead us to victory in Desert Storm?

William Jefferson Clinton never served in the military. Clark supports him and Hillary so what in their background gives them the right kind of military experience? WJC took us to Kosovo and Somalia. Was he qualified?

George W. Bush was a pilot in the Air National Guard. Was it the right kind of experience to be commander-in-chief?

My point here is that where I believe military experience is a plus for anyone to be our commander-in-chief, it isn’t really required. And if a candidate has military experience it really doesn’t matter what they did in the military. I just showed you a wide variety of military experience in the above past presidents, and some that had zero experience.

Whether or not a presidential candidate ever served in the military in any capacity is not that important to me. What is important is what they stand for and how well they can lead.

So Wes Clark is out to lunch on this. And to say that Hillary’s “ time as the First Lady of the United States, her travel to 80 countries, her representing the U.S. abroad, plus her years in the Senate” make her the most qualified person to be our next commander-in-chief is not only grossly idiotic but it gives credence to Gen. Shelton’s decision to fire him, and it should have been for more than Clark’s integrity and character flaws. After this comment he should add stupidity to the list of reasons.

And, Wes? Since when does military experience equate to right kind of domestic and economic expertise?


A-6Dude

Woman Warrior

4 parts vodka
1 part blue curacao
1 part freshly squeezed lime


Shake with ice until very cold and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime.

A Dirty Martini

This site was not started to be only me opining about issues of the day. I want to make sure I balance it a little with other topics about which I am passionate.

So, today, I will talk about martinis (my wife, my kids, cigars and scotch and other passions will come in later posts).

The Dirty Martini is the namesake drink of my blog site. It is my favorite martini.

Martinis were an American invention. There are several theories about the origin of the martini. The most accepted account is that the Martinez (the original name for the drink) was most likely invented in Martinez, California, where a plaque commemorating the birth of the martini can be found on the north-east corner of the intersection of Alhambra Avenue and Masonic Street.

The current day martini is a descendant of the Martinez, an older, sweeter cocktail consisting of two ounces of sweet vermouth, one ounce Old Tom gin (a sweetened variant), two dashes maraschino cherry liquid, and one dash bitters, shaken with ice, strained, and served with a twist of lemon. The earliest known reference to the Martinez is found in The Bon Vivant's Companion: Or How to Mix Drinks (1887 edition), authored by "Professor" Jerry Thomas, the head bartender at many famous watering holes, including the Occidental Hotel in San Francisco.

Thomas had a client who took a ferry from the Occidental Hotel on Montgomery Street to Martinez, then the state capital of California, every morning. Thomas mixed him the Martinez to keep the morning chill off, and named it after his client's destination. Distilled spirits in the 1800s were not regulated as they are today, and were sold at cask strength—upwards of 135 proof. Over time, the strength of the spirits decreased and smaller quantities of mixers were needed to make them palatable. Now it is more common to see a martini made with little or no vermouth.

Today we also see that Vodka has replaced Gin as the predominant ingredient in a martini. Purists, however, still believe that a true martini is made with Gin and not Vodka. Personally, I like them both but I lean toward Vodka as my main ingredient.

Here is the thing about martinis: as with any other drink you make the key to a great cocktail is the use of QUALITY ingredients. Life is too short to drink cheap booze, unless your budget can only afford the call brand varieties.

Using the lesser quality ingredients can be somewhat rectified by the next most important ingredient in making a martini – make it COLD! When I shake my martinis I do so until I can no longer hold the shaker in my hand. I mean that literally.

Next, I like to chill my cocktail (martini) glasses in the freezer. You may also chill one by adding ice and water to a glass but I find the freezer just makes it taste better. There is something about the martini glass fogging up after I remove it from the freezer that makes the anticipation of the martini more heightened.

I have a spread sheet with almost 700 recipes that I have been accumulating since 2000. When I see and interesting recipe I add it to my list. There is no way I will be able to drink all of them (without a liver transplant) but they’re fun to collect.

The last element of a martini is the garnish. In that list of recipes I have garnishes that include lemon twists, orange twists, olives (with a variety of stuffing’s), chocolate syrup, candy canes, various rimming sugars and the list goes on. I also purchased some stainless steel martini olive skewers in the shape of swords. They are cool!

Another thing I have found is a lady named Tracy Lolita Yancey that designs themed, hand painted martini art glasses. On the bottom of the glasses is a recipe to try. These are way cool and make great gifts for the martini lovers in your life.

So, here is the namesake recipe for my blog site:

The Dirty Martini
3 parts Vodka or Gin (make them the best quality you can afford)
½ part dry vermouth (personally, I either use a vermouth spritzer, or swirl the vermouth in glass and drain it, or use no vermouth at all)

Olive brine

Olives (either pimento stuffed or bleu cheese stuffed – and stuff the bleu cheese in yourself. Don’t buy the bleu cheese stuffed olives that are stored in oil)

Add the vodka or gin and your vermouth preference to a shaker filled with ice. Shake it until you cannot hold the shaker in your hand anymore. Strain into your very chilled martini glass. Add 2-3 tsp of olive brine (more or less to taste) and garnish with your olives.

Find a place to sit, relax and enjoy! You earned it.

A-6Dude

Berkeley Declares War on Marines

Among the classifications that liberals use to describe conservatives and republicans are: intolerant, narrow-minded, racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobic and mean spirited, and the list goes on. Basically, we are not tolerant of alternative and different points of view.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about liberals: the very same people that accuse us of being any one or more of the above adjectives exhibit those traits FAR beyond that with which we are said to do. It starts with their intolerance of any opposing viewpoint and spreads out from there.

So, we shouldn’t be surprised by a story coming out of Berkeley, CA today. It appears that the local government wants the Marines out. We’re not talking about a Marine Corps base or airfield or supply depot. We’re talking about a recruiting office. The recruiting office opened in Berkeley a little over a year ago. They were quietly doing their business of recruiting volunteers to become Marine officers. That is, until about four months ago when Code Pink began regular sidewalk protests against these baby killers.

Then, the Berkeley City Council passed a measure by a vote of 8-1 to tell the Marines their downtown recruiting station is not welcome and "if recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome guests."

Who would make better guests then? Perhaps Osama bin Laden or three or four of his followers? Or maybe they could turn the place into a day worker site. As long as it’s something that is against America I’m sure it will be acceptable.

The council also voted to explore enforcing a city anti-discrimination law, focusing on the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. This is where they expose their hypocrisy. Remember the tolerance and inclusion that they say we don’t exhibit? Well, I don’t see it on display by them either. In fact, I see bigotry, intolerance, discrimination and absolute un-patriotic behavior.

Liberals are HYPOCRITES! They are all for tolerance and diversity as long as you are agreeing with them. Just ask the liberal that keyed my car during the 2004 election because I had a Bush sticker on it. I had to check my Webster’s dictionary to make sure I new where to send the updated definition of tolerance to for inclusion in their next edition.

Then, in a separate 8-1 vote, the council voted to give protest group Code Pink a parking space in front of the recruiting office once a week for six months and a free sound permit for protesting once a week.

Now, I wonder if they would have voted to give a pro-war group that same type of privilege to protest in front of City Hall. Or, would they give Pro-Life group the same deal to protest in front of a baby killing clinic.

And then, it gets even more telling about who these people are.

"I believe in the Code Pink cause. The Marines don't belong here, they shouldn't have come here, and they should leave," said Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates.

Mayor Bates, you are entitled to your opinions. And you are free to express them regardless of how idiotic you sound doing so. But do you know why you are able to say these things and make a fool of yourself? Because the very Marines that you so despise and want out of your city are the same ones that freely put their lives on the line so that you can express your 1st Amendment rights, you ungrateful piece of s**t!

And now Code Pink is circulating petitions to get a measure on the ballot in November making it more difficult to open military recruiting offices in Berkeley if they are near homes, parks, schools, churches, libraries or health clinics (read: baby killing clinics) or anywhere else that anyone of the very tolerant citizens of Berkeley might find themselves having to endure the offense of the presence of a United States Marine.

Code Pink has the right to protest. And though I don’t agree with them I wouldn’t begrudge them their constitutional right to protest, even against the very people that secure that right. But they are protesting the wrong people.

Marines, or any other service for that matter, do not determine whether or not we go to war or when. Their job is to execute policy. That policy is set by the government. The President decides on taking us to war and the Congress must approve it. Like it or not, that is what has happened.

So, if these sheep want to protest, they should be outside of the White House and Capitol letting the politicians that approved this war know what they think. Insulting and impugning the honor of the Marines that protect their right to protest is ludicrous and deplorable.

Some business owners aren't happy with the weekly protests. "My husband's business is right upstairs, and this (protesting) is bordering on harassment," Dori Schmidt told the council. "I hope this stops."

Dori, you have just as much right to counter-protest if you wish. Why not do it? At least you’d be protesting against the right people – Code Pink.

These people, the Berkeley liberals and Code Pink, have no honor or courage. As far as I’m concerned they can protest all day long. They are hypocrites and cowards and do not represent what is good in America.

But at least they are not trying to convince us they support the troops like their liberal counterparts in Congress.

A-6Dude

Here’s an appropriate martini for this post:
Pink Gin Martini
2 parts gin
Bitters to taste

Shake over ice until COLD and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a twist.

My Contract with America

A local talk radio station host, Chris Core, had listeners call in early last year to see if they could define a new Contract with America. There were a lot of good ideas submitted and some that were not so good. So I started thinking about it and came up with what I will call My Contract with America.

In my almost perfect world the items below would be part of what I would change if I could. The list is not all inclusive. I took parts of the list from the radio show and added a lot of my own ideas.

I don’t write in legal-speak so most of these are just plain-language tenants I would like to see incorporated. I know that this would not be easy and some may need re-thinking but we have to start somewhere.

So, at a minimum, here is the contract I would make with America:

I Believe that America is the greatest country ever:
-Freedom is the root of that greatness.

-In general, government is not the solution to our problems, it is often THE problem.

Balanced budget:
-The budget of the United States Federal Government must be balanced every fiscal year.

All Federally funded programs must show a measurable return on investment:
-Government spending must be treated like household spending (without credit cards).

-Government spending must not exceed the amount of taxes taken in.

-Any program or governmental agency/department that receives federal government funding must show a measurable return on that investment (ROI). Those metrics will have to be determined for each recipient program/agency/department.

-Any program or governmental agency/department that receives federal funds and does not meet a defined measure of effectiveness will have a penalty applied in the form of reduced funding the next year.

-Repeated failure to meet performance metrics may result in total de-funding. Here’s why… Americans have to live within their economic means and so should the government. This means that taxes must not be raised just to have more to spend.

-Any new program or governmental agency/department designated to receive government funds must have a measurable ROI defined prior to receiving those funds.

IMMIGRATION REFORM AND CONTROL:
-The southern border between the United States and Mexico must be secured within one year by fence, personnel and/or electronic devices in order to stop illegal entry into the United States.

-Unless one of your parents is a legal U.S. citizen, a child born here is not automatically a U.S. citizen (of course, this last one would require a change to Constitution).

-Any children who have been born in the United States of parents who are illegally in this country (commonly known as “anchor babies”) will have to pursue the same path for American citizenship as any other immigrant wanting to become a U.S. citizen.

PROTECTION OF THE AMERICAN CULTURE AND ELECTORAL PROCESS:
-English shall be designated as the official language of the United States. All ballots for elections shall be printed only in English.

-Anyone who wishes to vote shall be required to provide verified proof of U.S. citizenship at the polling booth.

-NO government forms or business shall be conducted in any other language but English.

VOTER IDs:
-All U.S. citizens that are legally allowed to vote must provide proof of citizenship in the form of a birth certificate or other acceptable form of identification.

-This form of positive ID must be shown in order to vote.

ENERGY INDEPENDENCE:
-This Congress will set a maximum of ten years by which time the United States must become fully independent of any foreign sources for its energy supply. We put a man on the moon in a decade and I think we can do this in a decade too.

-This will include, but not be limited to, expanded oil exploration and refining, and production of alternative sources such as nuclear power, ethanol, natural gas, solar, and/or wind.

CONGRESSIONAL REFORM:
-All bills must be approved or rejected solely on their own merit (that is, nothing unrelated to the intent of the original bill may be added). If you want a pork-spending bill then do it in the form of a bill that stands alone.

-There is no longer the ability to filibuster.

-All presidential appointments will receive a confirmation or rejection vote within 90 days of their nomination.

-No public office-holder may do business with, or try to influence, the vote of elected officials (lobbying) within 2 years of having left public office.

-Term limits will be set for all federally elected officials. House of Representatives will be changed to four (4) year terms and limited to three terms in office. The Senate will be limited to two terms in office. Unless running for President, no elected official shall serve longer than 14 years (total) in an elected federal office.

-Federally elected and appointed officials that choose to run for an office other than that which they currently hold must resign from their current office before seeking election for another office.

REFORM THE IRS and OUR TAX CODE:
-We will have an honest and open debate on migrating our current tax system to a flat tax, national sales tax or a similar form of taxation.

-Our current tax code is too complex and we need to move to a more simplistic plan.

A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD:
-All laws that apply to the rest of the country shall apply equally to Congress. This includes such laws as those enacted by the EEOC and OSHA.

-So that members of Congress may better relate to the average American, the Congressional pension plan shall be ended, and Congress will pay into, and receive, the same Social Security benefits as any other American.

-Congress shall receive no health care benefits that it cannot offer to each and every other American citizen.

I know that there are other areas that can be addressed and some of these may be incomplete. So, send my your ideas or recommendations. Then vote for me when I run for President ... why wait, write me in!

A-6Dude

Cigar Lover’s Martini
2.5 parts VS Cognac
0.5 parts Tawny Port

Shake over ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Enjoy with a medium-to-heavy bodied cigar.

Voter IDs

Next week the Supreme Court will hear arguments for Indiana’s voter ID law. Georgia’s similar law will be affected by their decision, expected sometime in June 2008.

The Republicans want this law in effect to prevent voter fraud. I agree. In Virginia, I have to show my driver’s license every time I vote. I don’t have a problem with it. I smile, show them my ID and then go cast my vote. It takes about 15 seconds of my time.

To me this makes great sense. Voting is reserved for U.S. citizens. Why should it be a problem to verify your citizenship status and eligibility to vote? I have to prove my citizenship status every time I get a new job and for a host of other events in my life. So why is it a bad thing for us to prove we’re U.S. citizens when we vote?

The Democrats say we’re disenfranchising the poor. How? It is not hard to prove you’re a legal citizen. It takes little effort to get a copy of your birth certificate if you don’t have one.

The Dems only care about this because it is the poor that usually vote for them. After starting the War on Poverty 40 years ago the Dems still cannot declare victory and yet the poor seem to follow them like sheep. And this has created a section of our population that has become dependent on the government for their well-being.

Just think about that for a minute – the Dems started a war 40 years ago and have spent over 7 trillion dollars on it and still have made no real progress. Why do the poor in this country continue to follow them?

And if there is no requirement to prove you’re a legal citizen of this country then illegals can vote and that the Dems want – to create another permanent underclass of people that are dependent upon them for their well-being. That’s just what they’ve done to the poor in this country.

To me this is a no brainer. Even though it is part of a voter fraud preventative measure, it is also an issue of right and wrong. Voting in America is a right of U.S. citizens and they should be able to prove, and have no problem with proving, that they’re legally eligible to vote.

A-6Dude

Here is the classic Dirty Martini as I make them:

2 parts premium quality Vodka

Vermouth mister

olive brine

olives

Shake Vodka over ice till the shaker is too cold to hold. Strain into ice cold cocktail glass. Add about a tablespoon of olive brine and spray 2-3 mists of vermouth over vodka. Add olives and drink.

Get Married, Stay Married, Save the Planet

My blog last week was about how my second fridge for beer was contibuting to global warming. I really don’t want to get wrapped up in the farcical premise that man is causing global warming, but this week there was another article that was just too rich to let go by.

We all know that divorce damages families. I’ve watched many friends deal with divorce and hope I never have to deal with it. It's an ugly situation, to say the least.

Though I am not being green because I have a second fridge, I just found out that I am offsetting that environmental sin by the fact that I have been married to the same woman now for 22 years in a row (and I give her the credit). And I should also be well ahead in my 'marriage offsets' since I’ve only had the second fridge less than a year and I have been married for over 22 years.

There are a lot of benefits to being and staying married. Among the things being married should be able to do for my family is to provide a loving, stable home, and I hope to set an example for my kids to follow when they decide to choose a spouse that commitment and hard work can have rewards.

What I wasn’t aware of was that I was saving the environment by all of that commitment and hard work. Out of the UK, in the Times Online, comes an article that describes what divorce is doing to our environment (oh yeah, single people are guilty too)…scientists have finally quantified the effect of divorce on the planet. YGBSM!!!

You mean to tell me that with all of the things that scientists could be researching, some of them sat around and actually thought that this was a useful study? And, even more amazing, someone funded this crap!!

But they did and here’s an excerpt of the article…

“Across America – one of 12 countries studied – divorced households used 73 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity in 2005 that could have been saved if the families had not split up. That is equivalent to about a fifth of Britain’s consumption.”

Where do they find the statistics? Do they do a cross-check of divorce court records and then hack into the power company’s database to examine utility bills? And, what percentage is that of the total consumption of electricity in America?

But, it doesn’t stop there….

“Broken couples also increase demand for housebuilding and infrastructure such as new roads. “The global trend of soaring divorce rates has created more households with fewer people, has taken up more space and has gobbled up more energy and water,” said Jianguo Liu of Michigan University, who carried out the latest research.”

Perhaps we should create communes for divorced people. This will allow them to still be contributing to the reduction of global warming vice making it worse by being single and living …. alone!

Really, though, I think I’m in the wrong business. With a divorce rate of about 50% in this country I should be a building contractor. These soaring divorce rates are causing a soaring demand for housing. I could just go find the market segment that has the highest divorce rate (that would be Nevada for the latest stats I could find…and I used to live there), build some housing and wait for the profits. Since the average duration of first marriages is less than 8 years I won’t have to wait that long for customers. Evil capitalism at its best!!

I could check the papers for wedding announcements and then show up at the wedding and give them a gift card worth some amount of discount on their housing requirements when they come to see me after the divorce. Hey, with those odds I’ll probably see half of them! And for some reason, they’ll need more rooms.

“The study… found that the average number of rooms per household was between 33% and 95% higher for divorced couples than for married ones.”

I’m sure I’m misinterpreting this but are they really saying that if I get divorced I will move from a 5 bedroom home to a 7 to 9 bedroom home? Am I going to win the lottery? I’ll need to because I’ll be lucky to find a 7’x9’ room that I could afford if I divorce.

So aside from the social and economic impacts, it appears that this divorce stuff also contributes to global warming. I’ve seen things get heated for people during a divorce…but enough to warm the planet??

“Liu also calculated that America now has an extra 38.5[million] rooms in houses and apartments built to meet the demand for more accommodation generated by divorce over the past three decades.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for divorce but….SO WHAT? Are the rooms being rented or owned? Does that not mean the laws of supply and demand are working? Isn’t that what a free economy runs on … supply and demand?

Does any economic or technological growth NOT cause global warming? Why is man so evil?

These people are wackos. There have to be better things to research that will have a more meaningful impact on society than the affect of divorce on global warming. But as I said, as far as marriage goes, I’m GREEN!

Sadly (for purposes of this discussion that is), though, I was not always married. At one time in my past I was single. Like other singles out there, divorced or never married, I was not aware that I was making our planet warmer. I am reformed now. I am married. I am GREEN. HEAR ME ROAR!!

When I got engaged I was in the Navy. I was in Attack Squadron 95 - the Green Lizards. One day our Command Master Chief (these guys were the salty, old sages of the command) came into my office and said, “Lieutenant, I understand you’re getting married.” I replied, “Yes, I am, Master Chief.” He looked at me very gleefully and said, “Well, good. There’s no reason for you to be happy.”

I have used that line many times on people when I hear they are engaged but now I am going to change it for my nieces, nephews, friends and other single people I know. Now I am going to tell them that they are causing global warming and that marriage is their obligation so that they can help cool the planet (it cools off a lot of other things too…but that’s a different blog). And to help them understand that they must take this seriously and strive to stay married, I will hit them with facts according to the study:

“The growth of single-person households is also damaging the environment. Research published in the journal Environment, Development and Sustainability found that:

- One-person households are the biggest consumers of energy, land and household goods, such as washing machines, refrigerators, TVs and stereos, per capita

- They consume 38% more products, 42% more packaging, 55% more electricity and 61% more gas per capita than four-person households

- People living alone create 1½ tons of waste annually compared with a ton by those in households of four or more.”

All of that seems like ‘fuzzy math’ to me. But if the math is right, then marriage makes us more efficient in all aspects of our lives than if we were single.

And all of that efficiency has given me more time to go to my second fridge to get some olives and brine to enjoy a Dirty Martini and a good cigar.

A-6Dude

And here’s a martini recipe to help us stay green:

Kyoto Martini
6 parts Gin or Vodka
2 parts Melon liqueur
1 part Dry Vermouth
¼ part lemon juice
Mix all ingredients in a shaker with ice, shake till too cold to hold the shaker and pour into a cold martini glass. Garnish with a melon ball (green, of course).

Beer Drinking is Destroying the Planet?

I was finally ahead of the curve. As you can tell from the title of my blog, martinis are my drink of choice (and scotch, too). And we here at Dirty Martini ARE green (okay, so it’s just me and green is the color of a lot of my titles and banners).

Based on the article I read today, I am relieved to know that since I quit drinking beer as my predominant adult beverage of choice, I have reduced my contribution to global warming.

And, I am a firm believer in climate change. I see the weather change on a daily basis. I also know from my own research that the earth warms and cools about every 1500 years.

When I saw the headline I thought that the beer story was going to be about the end by-product of carbohydrate fermentation in our intestines (methane). We all have heard how cows and other ruminants are destroying our planet by farting. And when we drink beer – most of us fart too.

But this Canadian government sponsored study didn’t find that it was the consumption and expulsion of the beer that we evil humans do to make our planet warmer. It was worse than that. It appears that some of us actually like to keep our beer cold. Yes, some of us actually have ….. a beer fridge. Not just the one in our kitchens, but some people have a second refrigerator to store beer.

They actually paid someone to survey refrigerator usage!!

But wait! You gotta hear this…. "People need to understand the impact of their lifestyles," British environmental consultant Joanna Yarrow tells New Scientist magazine. "Clearly the environmental implications of having a frivolous luxury like a beer fridge are not hitting home. This research helps inform people — let's hope it has an effect."

Of course, even if beer was my beverage of choice, I would have to fight for space in my “second” reefer with all of the juice boxes that I store for my kids and the neighborhood kids to consume. I can now tell them that they are causing global warming by wanting cold juice boxes in the summer.

Is having a second frig a “frivolous luxury”? I might concede that it is a luxury…but it’s not frivolous. I work hard and if I have some extra money after my bills are paid then who’s to say what is frivolous or not. It's my money!!!

"Sorry kids, there’ll be no more juice boxes. And there’ll be no more fun till morale improves, either."

Of course, I think all of this is garbage. But it would take way too many blog postings to address the farce that I think the man-made global warming issue is.

To hear these people, it seems that the world would be better off without mankind. We are the nature’s biggest enemy. But the last time I looked, we WERE part of nature. But when you hear the wacko environmentalists talk it’s like we are some alien life form that is not of this world and our sole mission to destroy it. Hell, aren't we destroying the planet by exhaling? Isn't that CO2? Aren't we a carbon-based life form?

I definitely am for taking care of our planet. Having been around the world, literally, I can tell you that this is a beautiful place. And there are a lot of sensible things we humans can do. Being good stewards of our planet is the right thing to do. And, as our technolology advances it will allow us to do things more efficiently. But it seems these wackos want to take us back to the days before electricity. Our technological advances are ruining everything. But heck, we could become hunter-gatherers again and we could eat the moose that are dumping 2,100 kilos of CO2 into the environment each year.

But the folks that did the study had a different answer….

“University of Alberta researcher Denise Young, who led the study, suggests that provincial authorities hold beer-fridge buy-backs or round-ups to eliminate the threat — methods that Americans use to get guns off the streets.”

I can see it happening now….government officials storming people’s garages and seizing those ‘frivolous’, beer-can chilling refrigerators. Those old fridges will be chained and carted off to some undisclosed location to go through re-education training and, if they rehabilitate successfully, they may find their way back into society in a ‘one refrigerator’ home...the way their God intended.

And this is what they want for their Religion of Environmentalism….more governmental control of our lives. That way they can get rid of evil capitalism and everything evil that it spawns.

So I’m not likely to get rid of my ‘frivolous luxury’ anytime soon. Nor am I inclined to tell my kids that beer is the only beverage allowed in my ‘frivolous luxury’. As I said, beer isn’t my number one drink of choice. But....

Perhaps I will buy more olives for my dirty martinis and keep them out there.


A-6Dude


Here is another good martini recipe for the Christmas season:

Frostini: this is like drinking dessert!
-equal parts vanilla vodka / Godiva Dark Chocolate liqueur / Bailey's
-splash of cream
-shake ingredients over ice
-pour into a COLD martini glass
-garnish with a Hershey's kiss or rim the glass with chocolate